About the death of Robert Kochuk

I personally feel that the bar should be held responsible. As a resident of East Hampton who is in my 20’s, I know that A LOT of underage people in town do go to Dalton’s only because they know that they will not be carded. I myself have never been carded there EVER… Something is not right with this situation.

I to am sorry for this young man’s death, however not once in Ms. Sarahina’s article did she mention any irresponsibility on his part. Didn’t he choose to drink and drive? He could have seriously hurt others. As stated in a previous response, it’s time people take responsibility for their own actions.

I feel terrible that someone’s life was taken, but also feel that it was at their own expense. Growing up, my parents always taught me to be responsible for my own actions. I remember a few moments in high school that my mother - when most parents would have slapped, yelled and screamed at them - mine looked sad and said "I’m not mad, I’m just really disappointed." Yes, bars should of course always card, but when someone goes out of their way to fool and mislead them, beware of the karma that follows. Make good decisions. don’t look for a scapegoat.

Okay, so there are two issues here.

1. Underage drinking/driving while intoxicated/bar serving underage patrons.

2. Ms. Sarahina’s Letter to the Editor — did she mention any irresponsibility on his part? Didn’t he choose to drink and drive? He could have seriously hurt others. As stated in a previous response, “it’s time people take responsibility for their own actions.”

I’m not agreeing with both or just one. I just want to say that I used to work at Dalton’s briefly and it is true the owners come in to drink till they fall off the bar stools - even the bartenders join in the fun. Which impairs their judgment to be a responsible server.

But fake ID or not, I do agree that there is some responsibility held with any driver getting behind the wheel after drinking. D.A.R.E. is in the school systems — it’s not like they don’t know.

And I definitely think Dalton’s should be held responsible - it is a TINY bar, you know who is there and who isn’t. It’s that small. And as for friends giving drinks, a bartender in a bar that small should know what’s up.

First of all, I want to extend my sympathies to the family of this young man. Clearly their loss hurts more than any of us will ever be able to express or realize. Our words will never be equal to the tragic loss of a 19-year-old man with his life ahead of him.

As someone who passed that age long ago, I seem to remember when drinking was legal at age 18. I also remember being astonished at being served a beer at a well-known Hartford bar at age 16, and how great I thought that was at the time, bragging to my friends.
I understand the need to blame someone for this tragedy.

But the reality is that kids will find a way to indulge, get drunk, and act stupid. It is part of the growing up process and something all of us did. Just because we survived does not mean we know better.

Maybe it all comes down to fate, access to car keys, and a deer crossing the road. But I do know speed and trees and alcohol have claimed more than one person’s life, and you can’t do anything about making trees illegal, so society focuses all its efforts on the other two.

The question the family ought to ask is whether police investigation was adequate in this case. The bar certainly has insurance. I would hope that they have a lawyer familiar with Connecticut liability statutes.

Instead of faulting the reporters and looking up arrest reports, deal with this in a dispassionate way. If you can’t, find someone who can. Otherwise, this will just eat at you for years every time you drive by the site of the accident or the dive that served him booze.

Seek justice, bury the hate.

But for them serving him, that did not help the problem. I, too, know this has been going on for years and by everyone turning a blind eye, who’s to say your kid wouldn’t be the next one. Yes, they can find it other ways, but they should not be served in a bar if they are underage and that is where Dalton’s is at fault. My sympathies to the family.

It’s very upsetting that a life was lost. But Dalton’s cannot be held responsible; considering that a few years ago he a friend were picked up after having the police called, because a neighbor at a local car repair shop saw a man dragging what looked like a dead body into the shop. Come to find out, they were extremely intoxicated from a night of drinking at Angelico’s. The two produced a fake ID and were served alcohol. When they boys went to court, they received a slap on the wrist and went on their way. He had a problem, and unfortunately a blind eye was turned. I pray that his family can find peace and that the bartender can learn from this experience and move on.

Robert was my cousin. For those of you who think to judge him, without ever having known him, please allow me to tell you about him.

He was a great kid who loved to make people laugh. He was well loved by everyone who knew him, and to this day, we have yet to find anyone who disliked him in any way after getting to know him.

But he was a 19-year-old boy who made a bad choice. That does not, by any means, define the person he was. To my knowledge, every teenager makes a bad choice or two at sometime or another.

My aunt and uncle did everything possible to try and raise him to make the right decisions, but sometimes teenagers slip up. They are great parents; not only were they to the son they lost, but they continue to be, even after such a tragedy, to my other cousins.

My family and I all know that Robert made a very bad decision that horrible night… but that does not excuse Dalton’s for their lack of judgment and their denial of responsibility.

I have been to Dalton’s on a number of occasions over the years, and it has always surprised me how I have never been carded. Yes, I am old enough to legally drink, but I also look very young. Young enough to the point that even when purchasing a pack of cigarettes, I am usually asked to provide a second, and even sometimes, third form of ID. Yet I have never once been asked to provide ID at Dalton’s.

I have also always wondered how it is that they can and will serve a person more than enough alcohol to clearly intoxicate them and then never once show any sort of concern for how that person was getting home… I’ve witnessed more than enough people get into their cars, drunk beyond belief, after a long night of drinking at that bar and never once have I seen a bartender or even the owners themselves, attempt to stop them.

I have also, on a number of occasions, witnessed people I knew for a fact were underage, drinking at that bar without fake IDs.

Robert was wrong, yes, we know this and it is a concept our family has been struggling to deal with over the past few months, but Dalton’s was also wrong. If they had done their duty as bartenders and stopped a clearly intoxicated young man from driving, then maybe my little cousin would still be here today.

I bartended for many years and stopped about 20 years ago after I was married and my son was born, but I still stayed a waitress. I was always told that whoever serves the alcohol, (bartender, waiter or waitress or manager), is responsible for serving the legal limit to all patrons and I believe that law has never changed. So, I say that someone has to be responsible, especially when there are lives at stake.